


Stepping Stones

by Zwaluw



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Albus Is Cute And Ignorant, Albus Is Definitely a Griffindor, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, And he has his wife to nonverbally communicate he's being an arse to the 11year old so that helps, Book: Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, Character Study, Fluff, Gen, Good Tom Riddle, Harry Potter Next Generation, He's trying at least, I mean I wrote this out of spite for CC but whatever, Privilege, Tags Are Hard, Wizarding World Bashing, Wizards are elitist as fuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-06
Updated: 2016-07-06
Packaged: 2018-07-21 22:13:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7407145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zwaluw/pseuds/Zwaluw
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Albus isn't really lost, he has just temporarily forgotten how to get back to Diagon Alley. Running into frightening strangers doesn't help his situation either.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stepping Stones

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this as an antidote to all the emotional punches that Ashes is pulling on me right now and well, I think it's good enough to share. It's certainly nice to see how I've been improving and everyone needs more Albus Potter being impossibly cute right? 
> 
> I had a lot of eyes on this one so thank you everyone for bearing with me and reading all my words :)
> 
> A birthday gift for the incomparable Vulgarweed <3

Albus wasn’t lost, not really. He didn’t want to be lost, so he wasn’t. He’d just have to turn another corner and then he’d be back at Diagon, or maybe Knockturn, he could find his way back from Knockturn easily. Dad would be absolutely furious though and Mum would huff but he wouldn’t be lost anymore.

The houses were strange here, not as wibbly as the ones in Diagon, not as inviting. They stood straight with the paint peeling off the windows and the doors dark and grey. Everything here was grey, the stones, the sky, the people. They were throwing him strange looks too, as if he didn’t belong here. The sun was already going down, only peeking between the chimneys as he walked. He wasn’t lost, not really. Just another street, another alley and another corner and he’d have his bearings again. It wasn’t hard to find your way in Diagon, his Dad had been taking him forever, it was just across the street for sure.

It wasn’t and the air was only growing darker. The houses seemed to crawl into each other, their windows and doors huddling closer and closer together. There were fewer alleys here and all the windows and doors lined up one after the other, one endless row of sadness. He missed the crowded streets of Diagon now, even though all the noise and all the people pressed down on him too much. The quiet was unpleasant and the people on the streets frowned at him, rather than laughed, like everyone did in the Alley. His feet were starting to hurt now, the creak of the leather accompanied by twinges of pain and protest. He couldn’t blame them, if Lily turned her pleading eyes on Dad, he would carry her through the streets, but Albus couldn’t ask for that, not when he was eleven already. And lost. Really lost.

Stopping wasn’t an option, stopping wouldn’t help. Stopping would only make them glare harder. Stopping would only make him more lost than he was now. He just had to keep moving, the houses couldn’t just go on forever and ever. His heart beat in step with his footsteps, faster and faster until he was almost running, the lines and people blurring. He was crying like Lily now, all because he got lost. The tears stung and wiping them away with the back of his hand didn’t help, it only made more of them appear. The sun was sinking behind the houses, making the world even darker. A door slammed in the distance, a harsh and sudden sound that made him jump and break into a run. He wasn’t scared, really not.

Running didn’t make him any less scared though, only made his heart pound and his feet hurt and the tears come quicker. There was an alley, with a streetlight, casting a warm glow around it. They light lit up the grey stones, making them look orange and soft. His feet lead him to the light, and he couldn’t stop them. He was only going faster. Light had to mean something good, it had to mean he was coming closer. Diagon was always full of light, not so dark as it was here.

He wanted to stop under the streetlamp, wanted to see if it was warm, wanted to stop and take a deep breath because his sides were hurting just as much as his feet now, but he still couldn’t stop. The impact knocked the last bits of breath from him, making his lungs prickle with the need for air. It was so sudden he couldn’t even blink, couldn’t stop, couldn’t regain his balance. And then he was falling, not just his feet and sides hurting anymore but his wrists as well as he hit the pavement. The pain shot up his arms, making the impact of the rough cobblestones felt in every muscle in his body. He felt his skin tearing, felt the dirt as it dug in and his lungs wouldn’t expand, suddenly incapable of breathing. There was a figure standing over him, something - someone he must have run into.

Relief flooded through him, only making more of the stupid tears appear. He could ask now. He could ask them the way back to Diagon. But when he blinked the tears away the relief went with them. The man was staring at him, but seeing his face was impossible. The light was falling past it, obscuring it entirely apart for his eyes, the orange glow made them look odd, but not warm. The man was angry, he had to be, his glare bit almost as much as the cuts on his hands. His throat clenched with fear, making him want to sob for a moment. The hairs on his neck were standing on end and the light of the lamp wasn’t warm anymore but oh-so-freezing, Albus’ stomach twisted. He was scrambling back, dragging his hands over the stones to get away, get away from the feeling. Get away from him.

He didn’t know when he turned to get himself up, but his robes tore with a sound that sent shivers down his spine. Everything hurt but that didn’t matter, he just had to get away. The world was blurring again, shaking and tumbling as he ran.

‘Hey!’

Somehow, he managed to go faster, the footfalls behind him the only thing filling his world. The voice helped, giving him a burst of speed he didn’t know he had, every pain suddenly gone in favour of going a little bit faster. He could do this, he could outrun Teddy, he could get out of here and find his Dad.

His luck didn’t last. His chest was heaving again as he ran, his lungs stinging and his breath was coming in gasps. Slowly everything was starting to hurt again, he could feel the way his muscles were twitching with exhaustion.

Every step cut into his breathing even more, making him hiss with pain. He was tired, but he couldn’t stop now. He was almost there. Just had to go a bit further and then he’d see Dad and Mum and everything would be alright.

There was a street ahead that seemed the right place to go, but the sun cut into his eyes as he turned the corner. Making it impossible to see. The wall in front of him only knocked all thoughts of Dad and Mum out of his head. He thought he’d run into another street, even if the world had blurred and streaked into something he couldn’t recognise with all the fear rushing through him. Now it came to a halt abruptly, everything springing into sharpness again as his throat only clenched further. Dead end.

He could still hear the footsteps of his follower, the steady rhythm against the stones. There was no way he could escape now, nowhere to go. The bricks rubbed against the wounds in his hands as if they enjoyed it. Laughing at his failure. It hurt. Everything hurt. Even just turning around so he could face whatever was coming hurt, but he couldn’t just keep staring at the wall. He saw the man coming and it stung that he didn’t even seem to do his best, while Albus was doubling over as his body was protesting so loudly. His sides didn’t just sting, they were trying to tear him in two. His eyes were still watering, making his vision waver, so he blinked as much as he could, trying to keep the threat in sight. He was a Gryffindor; he could face this, just like his Dad.

And the man - the man stopped, at the entrance to the alley, just at the distance that made him feel queasy and uncomfortable, but didn’t have his heart racing out of his chest yet. It was surprisingly comforting, giving him the space to swallow away the fear just a little. The man sank down to the pavement, carefully and slowly squatting down on his heels. He moved slowly enough Albus could tell what he was going to do before did it and it was a relief to watch as he took off his hat and rested it on his knee. A muggle hat, like he’d seen people wear sometimes when Dad took them to their uncle’s- not a wizarding one. He was giving Albus a clear view of his face even though that meant the sun was glaring in his eyes and he didn’t even squint, just regarded him with a careful gaze, as if he was afraid he’d sprint off again.

He wasn’t wearing robes either, but a long grey coat that pooled around him, crouched as he was, and trousers. Knowing that helped, seeing his face helped. The way the man’s hair was all fluffy from the run and how he avoided looking at him too long. That was nice. He looked stern and threatening, but that was because he was frowning hard, not because he was actually stern or harsh. No-one who wanted to threaten anyone would make themselves so small. The fear wasn’t gone, but it was away enough that he felt wobbly suddenly and taking a deep breath was like flying a broomstick. The corner of the man’s lips turned up, just a quirk, as if he found it funny.

‘I’m Tom,’ the man said after a long silence. Albus his heart was slowly calming down, no longer beating quite so loudly in his ears. He couldn’t answer though, Dad had warned him about telling people his name. If they knew who he was their intentions might be changed, his dad said, because he was famous and people might think they could exploit that. Tom didn’t seem to mind much that he didn’t answer, the only thing that happened was that his lips twitched again. He took another deep breath. It was going to be ok. He just had to get Tom to give him directions to Diagon, and to leave him alone and it would be ok.

‘You got lost?’

The world blurred again, he’d cried so much his eyes were stinging with salt, so he tried to wipe the tears away with his sleeve. Tom looked like he wanted to come closer, but didn’t. Something in his gaze was different now, like he was expecting an answer. His throat closed up around any words he tried to say, breaking them into bits that he had to swallow. The only thing he could do was nod, but Tom smiled at him for it. He liked the smile better than the frown, it made him look nicer and his eyes sparkled. Even his voice was soft, calm and regular, chasing away the last few tendrils of fear and panic away.

‘That’s alright, we can get you back to your parents. Can I escort you back to Diagon Alley?’

Something cold settled in Albus his stomach and he shook his head to stop the fear from coming back. Tom’s eyebrows rose and he cocked his head as if the answer surprised him. It made him want to run again and it was hard not to hop from foot to foot despite the pain.

‘No? What do you want then?’

He sounded surprised, but there wasn’t that tone that adults got sometimes, that said they knew better and they were just being nice to the little kid. His question sounded genuine, but he couldn’t find the words in his head. Couldn’t string together a sentence that said ‘I need to go back alone so you don’t kidnap me’. Tom would laugh if he said it anyway. The frown returned when he shook his head again, brows drawing together as his lips thinned. Albus couldn’t help it, he backed against the wall, trying to get a little further away. It only made the frown grow deeper and Tom looked concerned now, he rocked back on his heels, as if he wanted to create more distance but couldn’t make up his mind. His fingers were stroking the brim of his hat now and Albus stared at it, trying to think.

‘I can’t just leave you here, kid,’ he murmured and stood slowly and carefully.

There was something different about his voice, it almost sounded the way Dad talked when Lily hurt herself again, because his stupid sister always hurt herself. Why was Tom concerned for him? He was doing just fine, he just needed directions.

He considered running past Tom as the man was looking away, back out onto the street, but that wouldn’t actually help. Maybe he’d just be grabbed and even if he could escape, he still didn’t know the way. It took a moment before he heard the click of heels on stone, but it didn’t take long before a woman turned the corner with a puzzled look on her face, as if she was wondering what they were up to. Tom lit up, the frown fading and it dawned on him he’d been looking for her. For a stupid second Albus wished he got smiled at like that. She smiled back and then set her gaze on him. There, that was his last chance of getting out of this, gone.

He expected the fear to return, but it didn’t, his stomach wasn’t tied back into knots and the tears had stopped even if his nose was dripping.

She didn’t greet him, didn’t make herself smaller like Tom had, but only turned back to the man and he turned away as well, until he could only see half of their faces. He couldn’t pick up what they were saying either, the uncertainty making his stomach flutter with unease. The wall dropped away when he pushed himself off, a strangely dizzying feeling to not have the rough stones against his head anymore.

It was helpful to have a goal, it made his feet steadier. He just needed to know what they were saying, if they were going to do something to him, he wasn’t eavesdropping, it was the sensible thing to do.

It was growing cold now and the wind was picking up, adding shivers of cold to the belated shivers of fear. The breeze curled through the streets, throwing their conversation to him in snippets, a few soft words amplified and then taken away again.

‘ ... looking for trouble ...’

The frown drew Tom’s eyebrows closer together again and the woman looked concerned as well, by the way she was worrying at her lip, just like Lily did.

‘... take him … going to happen.’

The tone was odd, not hushed and furtive as he expected it to be, but placating, the way Mum talked to Dad when he got worked up. The woman frowned deeply for a moment but then what he could see of her face smoothed out and she gave Tom a look he couldn’t quite decipher. Tom gazed back.

‘Fine! … going to fix ...’

Tom stared at the sky as if he was thinking, his hair only getting more ruffled by the wind, looking so much like Dad that Albus felt a sniffle come over him. He quelled it quickly - he was sneaking up on them he couldn’t sniffle now! And then Tom looked at the woman again and he nodded. He held his breath, feeling the fear tickle his breastbone again. Maybe she wouldn’t agree, maybe she’d just walk away. Maybe she’d alert the Aurors and his dad would come blazing to find him. She looked nice enough for it, she looked like the kind of woman who would talk to the Aurors and dab her eyes with a handkerchief while doing it too. He could just see her hair from under her hat, a weird muggle one again.

Like from that telly show that his Aunt watched, he’d seen one episode on Boxing Day when they went over to Dudleys. It was just as weird as the hat. But her hair was nice, so black it glowed, with curls springing all the way along her hairline, like it didn’t agree with being confined at all. Her clothes were just as muggle as his and that only made Albus’ stomach sink further. And then she didn’t shake her head, didn’t run away or start to cry, she just nodded back, in that way that Aunt Hermione did sometimes. The kind of nod that said _I win_. He heaved a breath, trying to make himself look bigger. He’d figure out something, Dad would come looking. Everything would be fine.

They turned towards him at the same time and he had to stop himself from running back to the wall. The fear was eating at his throat and making his arms and legs wobbly and insecure. They didn’t even startle at the fact that he was closer but Tom’s eyes flashed with something that wasn’t bitter cold and then he did it again. Making himself smaller and smaller until the fear stopped biting. And the woman did the same, with the same kind of easy grace, like she did this every day. Their knees were almost touching and Albus focused on the tiny space so he didn’t have to look them in the eye.

‘I’m Mary,’ the woman said and he could see her gentle smile from the corner of his eye. He wasn’t sure what to do, but she was nice so he had to do something. So he nodded at her and that made the smile go wider. Tom moved again, slow purposeful movements that had Albus take a step back. He was taking his wand out of his pocket, looking at it and then back to Albus, but not really looking him in the eye either. He took another step to be sure, because maybe if there was enough space he’d be able to get out of the way. Jump or dodge whatever they’d throw at him.

The wand was pointed carefully away though, the tip not even anywhere remotely facing his direction even if Tom would never hex Mary. You didn’t hex people if you smiled at them like that, it was just empty threats like Mum made all the time.

‘I assume you won’t want us to help because you’re scared we want to hurt you?’

There was a twist in Tom’s lips again, the little blip that said he thought this was funny, that made it easier to nod again. It should have made him more scared, but something about that smile was friendly. He wanted to use his words, he really did, he’d be braver if he just said so, instead of nodding like a little child, but his words didn’t want to be used. Tom sighed, just once, a great big sigh that made his chest rise and fall and then held on to his wand a little tighter.

‘I swear on my magic I want to return you safely and unharmed to your parents,’ he said, his voice still soft and kind despite the power Albus felt buzzing in his breastbone. The air around them shifted and shimmed and then there was a pop as the magic dispersed. The fear had gone with it too. Because now Tom couldn’t do anything to him, or he’d lose all that magic he felt in the air and if he really wanted Albus safe and unharmed, he’d protect him from others too.

His knees wobbled again. And his breath came out of his lungs in a gust. Tom wasn’t leaning back anymore, but he was balanced in such a way it made him think of a tiger about to leap, a crouch rather than anything else. Like he wanted to leap and catch him if his wobbly knees made sure he went to the ground. Albus took a deep breath. He couldn’t just fall, that would be silly, no matter how relieved he was. It was making him dizzy and the world went a little funny for a moment.

Tom didn’t have to catch him though, he just had to breathe a little deeper and everything cleared enough to see Mary holding out a handkerchief to him. His feet scraped over the stones when he shuffled closer, sending sparks of pain up his legs, like his body wanted to remind him that he’d hurt it badly and now it wanted to hurt him back. He took it uncertainly and gave him another smile. He wondered what made her do that so often, but he liked the way it made her look.

‘Blow your nose, dear.’

He did, because you didn’t argue with a voice like that, because it was warm and nice and didn’t even sound like she thought it was silly he was blowing boogeys. Of course, he didn’t know what to do with it when he’d done so and Tom made a sound like a snort before he stood up. Mary bit her lip, but that couldn’t hide her smile. He thought nothing could, because her eyes sparkled just like Tom’s did. He took another step back, because if Tom was moving, that meant they were going to do something. That meant he was going back. That Tom was going to bring him back like he was a wayward toddler who was too stupid to find his own way. He’d much rather stay glued to the wall, thank you very much, than watch Dad frown and Mum fidget. He’d get a lecture, on how he shouldn’t have gone away and shouldn’t get lost but it wasn’t his fault that he’d turned the wrong corner, was it?

He was sure he hadn’t said anything of that out loud, but Tom pinched his nose between his fingers with a sigh, as if he had a headache. Mary rose as well and they exchanged another look. It was funny really, how much Tom and Mary just looked at each other. It wasn’t one of the adult looks though, the ones that said ‘look at this brat and how much more grown up we are’ or at least that was how it felt even when Mum and Dad did it and they really loved him. This was a look he couldn’t decipher, even if he could see they’d exchanged it a thousand times if not more. It was slowly dawning that Tom and Mary were together like Mum and Dad were. Somehow that didn’t make him feel any less silly. But they could just give him directions and he’d arrive just as unharmed and safe and without being humiliated too. Would wanting to eat your hat in shame count as harm?

‘He doesn’t want to be escorted at all, it seems, how marvelous.’

The irritation was so clear Albus couldn’t help stepping further back and slip his hand to his own wand. That wasn’t a nice tone, promise or not. Mary’s smile vanished and she rolled her eyes, like she couldn’t believe the stupidity. Tom got an elbow in his side, which didn’t faze him at all, but he looked almost remorseful at his outburst. His breath stuttered when Tom caught his eye.

‘I’m sorry, your reluctance is completely understandable.’

The sincerity was weird - really weird - but he liked it anyway. His Dad never said that not wanting something was alright. Tom turned towards Mary, his body half angled away and his coat swishing as he turned. Like he was expecting her to do something. To convince him or bribe him or whatever. Albus wanted to giggle, but that didn’t seem like a very nice thing to do. Like they could convince him to do anything, he wasn’t nine anymore. You could get Lily to do things for you if you were nice to her, but that wouldn’t work on him.

It didn’t placate Mary in the slightest, she was staring at Tom and her gaze was suddenly just as harsh as Tom’s had been, something he wanted to run away from even if it wasn’t being aimed at him. Tom shifted slightly, as if he wanted to run himself.

He wasn’t the only one who wanted to run away when others got angry. That - that was nice. He wasn’t a coward, was he? Not if even an adult disliked fighting. He wasn’t a Wormtail for it, if someone as strong as Tom got uneasy because Mary was giving him a hard stare. He felt light, all of a sudden, and his feet didn’t hurt so much anymore. He could run again, maybe if they told him where to go, he could just sprint back, now this massive weight was suddenly off his shoulders.

The minute shift of weight turned into movement abruptly, as if Tom had come to some sort of decision. Albus got a nod and a smile - a real one with sparkle too - and then he turned on his heel and walked away, putting his hat back on. Mary rolled her eyes again at his back and he couldn’t hold back his smile at how exasperated she looked. Just like Mum or Grandma. It was easier to breathe now and he didn’t have to clench his wand so hard for reassurance. Mary turned toward him and hummed, frowning just as hard as Tom had.

‘Am I right to think that you don’t want us to bring you back because you want to go back alone, dear?’

His throat closed again, more gently than before, but still too tight to force any words through. He wanted to say yes, he _should_ say yes. Bloody hell, she was being nice. She was asking him why he didn’t want to come. She was checking if what she thought was right and wasn’t that the weirdest thing? He didn’t have any reason to be afraid, but reminding himself that Tom would lose his magic if he let anyone hurt him didn’t make his throat relax. If there was a little more force to his nod than needed, well, that was alright. He was just making himself clear.

She nodded back, like it was the most logical thing in the world to think, making Albus feel even more relieved. Every time he thought they’d stare at him, or laugh, or think he was being silly, they just accepted it. He hadn’t even noticed Tom was irritated, until he said so and then he’d apologised and walked away, like it was Tom’s fault, instead of his. There was a little voice in the back of his head, murmuring that perhaps getting lost was worth it, if it meant meeting such nice people.

Mary stared over his shoulder, her head tilted in thought and he wondered what she was thinking about. Wondered when she was going to say he should come with them, because he was too young, or too little. She never did.

‘Darling, do you think your parents are worried?’

Dad and Mum loved him and he’d been gone for a while, maybe a long while. Time had sort of blurred together, in a weird way, but he felt so tired now. They would be worried. He could see Dad pacing and Mum muttering. They’d be asking all over Diagon for him and Lily would be crying, because Lily always cried about everything. James probably thought it was funny that he was the one to be in trouble. Why was she asking him?

There was another hum, softer this time, like he’d proven a point.

‘I’m sure you’re smart enough to find your own way back, dear, and I’m sure your parents know that just as well as I do.’

She paused for a moment and straightened out, not quite staring at him, but still waiting for some kind of answer. Albus wasn’t sure what to think. She was right, but the shame was still curling around the edges of his mind and he could feel his cheeks heating at the prospect of having to go back. He’d still have to say he was lost, whether they came with him or not. It wouldn’t matter if he was handed over really.

It would make Dad so much happier to know he’d been safe and protected. Dad worried all the time about how safe they were. About people’s intentions. It would make him happy to see that there were nice people too, people that wanted Albus safe, just like Dad. He took a deep breath and decided that he could stomach James laughing at him, if it made Dad and Mum feel better.

Mary smiled at him and held out a hand for him to take. It was hard to let go of his wand, to let his fingers brush past the wood but he slipped his hand into hers anyway. He didn’t need it, really. He could let go at any time he wanted, but now it was nice to have something to hold on to. Her fingers curled around his gently and her skin was cool, a bit like dipping your hand in water.

It made his feet hurt a little less, to have something to hold on to. Even if his palms still stung from the fall, holding on to her hand was nice. She was going to bring him back to Dad and Mum and everything was going to be ok. His breath was coming easier and he didn’t feel so off balance anymore, not poised to run and hide and cry. Didn’t feel so stupid. The darkness was deepening now and Tom was standing on a street corner with his head tilted back to look at the sky.

Somehow he didn’t look quite as scary as before, even though a faraway street lamp cast everything in shadow. Albus felt the shame creep through his stomach as he watched. Tom was still tall and dark, but this way, he couldn’t see what had made him so terrified the first time around. He was just a wizard, even if he was wearing the most muggle clothes and his hat was strange. He wasn’t any more interesting than some of the real wizards around, the ones with proper hats and long flowing robes.

Tom’s coat didn’t flow, it just fell from his shoulders and it was grey and boring instead of purple or green like some wizard’s clothes. Mary squeezed his hand and when he looked back to her she smiled, like she knew what he was thinking. Like she wanted to say that it was alright to find Tom frightening. It didn’t do much for the squirming in his stomach. He didn’t want to be frightened, he didn’t want to be lost and he didn’t want to be brought back.

Urgh, he sounded like Lily, whining like she did about all the things she didn’t want to do. He took another breath, making himself breathe away all the nerves and disappointment. It was silly to whine anyway, when Tom and Mary were being so kind. They were helping him and he was whinging like a little brat. He still wriggled his hand out from hers before they could reach Tom but he smiled like he knew and then rocked on his heels a little. Like he was impatient to get going.

Albus swallowed the pain in his feet away and squared his shoulders. It wouldn’t be so long and they wouldn’t be running, he could handle a little pain. Tom frowned at him for a moment and drew his wand. He couldn’t help notice he did it quite a bit faster than the first time around. But no spell was cast yet, even though he could see a spark of magic lying on the tip of his wand. Maybe he was getting a little tired.

‘May I?’

He wasn’t sure what Tom meant, by the way he flicked his wrist but he’d promised to bring him home unharmed, so whatever it was, it would be good, wouldn’t it? If his nod showed any of his hesitation, Tom didn’t comment on it. He just flicked his wrist again and Albus couldn’t help but follow the movement of the tip of his wand.

He didn’t say anything, didn’t utter an incantation or spell, but suddenly his feet stopped hurting. He felt the scratches on his hands healing and when he blinked there was nothing to suggest he’d even fallen to the pavement at all. Even the rips in his robes were stitched up and there was a tickle of energy inside him that made all the tiredness vanish.

He felt like he had only just woken up, only just got here and now there was a whole day ahead of him. Tom smiled at him and slipped his wand back into its holster. Albus smiled back as widely as he could, feeling heady with how awake he was. He could sprint back now for sure, just run the whole way and make James do it again just to race him.

‘Let’s get you back, hm? I’m amazed you managed to make it as far as you did.’

His coat swished a little when he turned and Albus didn’t get the time to answer. Mary made a noise that had to mean she was rolling her eyes again. She gave him a little push between his shoulderblades that somehow made his legs start walking on their own. He skipped a step to see if he could and she laughed at him, the sound only made him feel better than he had before.

‘That’s only because you would be gasping for breath halfway, old man.’

Tom didn’t even stop walking, he just looked over his shoulder and waved a finger at them both like Albus imagined Professor McGonagall would do whenever one of her students did something horribly horribly wrong. The giggle bubbled out of his throat and over his lips before he could stop it and Mary laughed with him. Tom shook his head and halted for a moment, adjusting his pace to Albus instead of continuing to walk in front of them.

‘I shan’t dignify that with a response, I was only expressing surprise at the distance our young man covered, not a lot of people get to this end of Poplar without meaning to.’

He only sounded slightly outraged and something about his tone made Albus wonder if he was joking. It wasn’t a joke he was in on, at any rate. Mary made a disbelieving noise and he felt a tingle of happiness run all the way down his spine. It was nice to walk between them. Didn’t feel so alone. He could look around without being scared, without worrying about getting home, or finding Dad.

They didn’t even look angry about the fact that they had to walk him all the way back. The streets looked different now he could really look around. They weren’t as dark and grey as before, even as the night was falling. Some of the window sills were painted in vivid colours, mismatched with the doorposts. Red and green and blue and purple, some even had moving stars on them - little pinpricks of light that moved like falling stars.

There were people still out, and he hadn’t noticed them either. But every so often a door would be open and there’d be someone sitting in a portal, enjoying the cool evening air. Tom tipped his hat at them with a smile most of the time and their expressions always cleared when they laid eyes on him. That was a good thing about muggle hats, he supposed, you could tip them at people in greeting and they’d touch some imaginary hat in greeting too. You couldn’t do that with wizarding hats, wizarding hats flopped.

‘Are you still hurting, dear?’ Mary asked when they had turned enough corners for Albus to be a tiny bit dizzy. For a moment he was afraid he still wouldn’t be able to talk, but there was nothing holding the words back now. The movement of walking only made them come easier. He skipped a step again.

‘No, miss, I feel like I could run miles.’

And only then did he realise he hadn’t thanked Tom at all for the fact that he’d healed him. He felt the shame heat his cheeks, but Tom only smiled at him when he looked up to the man.

‘Thank you,’ he murmured. Tom’s smile grew a little softer and his eyes sparkled with laughter.

‘It’s no trouble, wouldn’t want to have to carry you back because your legs gave out. And how do you think your parents would react if I returned their boy all scruffed?’

Mary nudged him again, a hand softly against his shoulder.

‘They’d demand reparations of something equally dreadful for sure.’

He liked it when Mary was amused, you could hear it in her voice. It got all warm and smooth and the words tickled a little, like they wanted to make him laugh. He crossed his arms on a whim and harrumphed at them like James did when he was angry. And then stopped dead so they had to stop too and look at him.

‘My Mum would curse you with the Bogeys and my Dad would hack you into little bits and feed you to the dogs!’

Tom raised an eyebrow at him and Mary was smiling behind her hand, as if he wouldn’t notice just because he couldn’t see her mouth.

‘Would they now?’ Now Tom sounded amused too and his mouth was doing that thing again, where it would just tilt a little. Albus wondered if he was one of those people that smiled less the more happy they were. Uncle Rolf was like that and Professor Longbottom too. James said Neville always tried to be extra stern, but the way his lips twitched ruined it.

‘Oh my, better make sure to get you back safe then,’ Mary said after a moment and Tom nodded with a serious face that made all the giggles come out after all.

It took him three turns before he noticed all the people were smiling at Tom and Mary, but frowned at him. It made his stomach queasy, to see their faces shift as they laid eyes on him and there were shivers going down his spine, instead of happiness. Every bit of that had vanished, been replaced by cold that made goosebumps rise on his skin.

The silence chafed like Dad’s old sweaters, making it all too easy to focus on the way they frowned at him. Every time someone’s face twisted with disgust Albus felt a little heavier, like every hateful sneer was adding a stone to his stomach, a sudden drop that almost made him stumble. He wanted the warmth back, wanted to feel safe again, wanted Tom to say something silly and Mary to laugh. But he couldn’t even look away, couldn’t tear himself away from how their eyes narrowed at him, like he’d done something wrong. Offended them by just being here in the first place. He wanted to take Mary’s hand again, needed to feel like there was someone close, someone to protect him. She wouldn’t mind, would she, if he did that?

‘Why are they staring like that?’

It came out all wobbly, like his voice felt just as cold as he was. Mary’s footsteps turned irregular for a moment, no longer a steady rhythm of clicks on the pavement, but chaotic and disjointed. Tom frowned deeply for a moment and they exchanged a look over his head that he could feel. But neither of them spoke until the end of the street, another straight line with more grey houses, like all the last ones. They didn’t correct him either. Didn’t tell him he was wrong, that he was imagining things. There was just silence; it felt like drowning and even the thought of leaving, the thought of seeing Mum and Dad didn’t help. It didn’t matter to the growing fear that Tom had sworn to protect him. It just clawed holes in him anyway.

Mary laid a hand on his shoulder in silent acknowledgment and Tom sighed deeply. It was strangely calming to see him breathe in and out so deeply. It helped to know he wasn’t the only one who saw, that he was right. And the more he looked at Tom, the more it seemed like he was angry about it. He hadn’t stopped frowning and something about his shoulders had gone all rigid. There was another look over his head, longer this time and Mary’s footsteps turned clipped and angry. Tom sighed again and swallowed like he was about to speak.

‘It’s because you’re wearing Hogwarts robes,’ he said and lapsed back into silence with a sort of finality. He didn’t want to talk about it but nothing he’d said offered any explanation. Why would they hate him over his robes? Didn’t all the children wear them? Diagon was filled with students, he’d seen it himself.

‘What’s wrong with wearing my robes?’

Tom looked tired, all of a sudden. His shoulders sagged and the hand closest to Albus balled into a fist and then forcefully relaxed again. Like he was trying to calm himself down. Mary shook her head and squeezed his shoulder slightly. He wasn’t sure what she wanted to say, but it felt nice, to feel her hand and to know they were going to protect him. He just wished they would tell him why he needed protecting in the first place. What he’d done that everyone hated him so much. Wished they would explain.

The silence pressed at his throat now and the words were slowly worming their way to his lips. He wanted to stay silent, wanted to respect that Tom didn’t want to talk about it and that Mary wasn’t saying anything either. But he couldn’t keep the questions in, not when there was a voice whispering at the back of his mind that this was his fault and they hated him. That they were frowning because he was Albus and being Albus was wrong. He hated that voice. He hated what it said and he didn’t want to believe it.

‘Did I do something wrong?’

Mary’s fingers squeezed his shoulder all of a sudden, strongly enough to hurt. She shook her head again when he looked her way and she was frowning too now, her forehead all wrinkled and her lips a thin line of anger.

‘No, you did nothing wrong. For god’s sake Tom, just tell him.’

Every trace of warmth was gone, her tone gone harsh and clipped, like the anger made the words heavier.

Albus watched Tom’s shoulders hunch a little further. He looked small and sad and it didn’t suit him. Didn’t fit. He wasn’t supposed to be small and sad, he was supposed to be there and even though he could feel smiling wasn’t something Tom did often, Albus wanted him to. He liked it when people were happy, just like Dad. Dad always smiled the widest when he had all his friends around and everyone was happy in their own way.

The silence laid its heavy hands on him again and he was holding his breath now, waiting for something to happen, biting back all the questions he still hadn’t asked. At the end of the street Tom relaxed a little, straightening his shoulders and tilting his head like he was preparing for something. Albus held his breath a little longer and tried not to feel the sting of the woman glaring at him on the corner as they went by.

Tom breathed in and out in a controlled sort of way, not really a sigh but a long exhalation that made Albus slowly relax as well. He stared ahead like he was searching for the words he needed and Mary’s grip was slowly lightening on his shoulder.

‘They don’t want to be reminded,’ Tom said and his voice was heavy and bitter. Albus could barely tell he was angry, if it wasn’t for the way the words hissed with it. Mum and Dad were never angry like this. Not quiet and still but loud and big. Mum always shouted and Dad moved his arms a lot or paced the length of the kitchen back and forth. Tom just kept curling his hand into a fist and letting go.

He tried to accept it, tried to let the words reassure him, but the unease still fluttered in his stomach. And he couldn’t let it go, even with their anger forming a shield between him and every look. He should just walk on and not worry, but now everything was catching his attention. Curiosity curled through him like a cat, winding its way around his legs and running away with his tongue.

‘Reminded of what?’

Tom pinched his nose and blew out a slow breath, but Albus would swear to anyone he’d seen his lips twitch for a moment. He could feel Mary smile and when he glanced her way she her eyes were sparkling slightly. It was odd, Mum and Dad never really did that, when he asked them questions. They just answered, but he got the feeling Mary appreciated him asking them and Tom looked annoyed, but that was everything. He wasn’t really. He still answered slowly, like he had to consider every word before he let it out. Albus didn’t mind that much, because he knew he was getting an answer.

‘That they’ll be putting their children on the Hogwarts Express tomorrow.’ A boy stared at them angrily and Tom regarded him coolly, the boy turned red under the stare and mumbled something Albus couldn’t even hear.

‘And that they’ll be leaving their families,’ Tom added in a lower tone. Albus craned his head to look back to the boy, who was hurrying in the opposite direction, all small and sad, his shoulders hunched and his head bent down. He didn’t understand why it was a bad thing. He’d miss Mum and Dad but he’d be going to Hogwarts. That was good, right? Something to look forward to, not something to be sad and angry about.

‘But going to Hogwarts is a good thing?’

It wasn’t really meant to be a question, but somehow his tongue made it one anyway. Tom looked at him for the first time since he started talking, regarded him with quiet eyes. Albus pushed the fear away that pressed on his breastbone. Tom wasn’t angry, or maybe he was, but not at him. Mary had said so and if it wasn’t true, Tom would have said something to contradict it. He was just being looked at like Tom was contemplating something, thinking about him, making some sort of decision. Albus felt small under the gaze but he wasn’t about to take his questions back.

‘Not to them, kid,’ Tom murmured, still staring at him like he was a butterfly pinned down.

‘My Aunt says education improves your chances in life,’ Albus answered and Tom’s lips twisted with disdain.

He couldn’t keep the fear in now, couldn’t stop from shrinking away. But Mary’s hand was still lying on his shoulder, a calm reminder of the fact he was safe and the fact that Tom’s anger wasn’t aimed at him, not really. There was just something about his face, about the way his eyes went cold that made him shiver with fear, something just as cold settling in his stomach.

Tom noticed, because he schooled his expression and looked away before speaking. Except he didn’t, the words formed on his lips but before any sound came out he stopped and sighed. His shoulders tightened again and he shoved his hand in the pocket of his coat. Albus bit his lip, trying to keep the questions in, but he couldn’t make the silence last.

‘Why is it bad? Will they miss their parents that much?’

He made Tom smile again and the cold in his stomach eased a little. It didn’t matter that he didn’t understand why his questions were funny, at least the harsh light in Tom’s eyes was gone now.

‘Will you?’ he countered and Albus had to swallow away a sudden pang of loneliness. It bit at him just like the looks did, trying to drag him to the ground and making his feet hurt again, just for a moment. Mary made a noise that was almost a growl and Tom winced slightly.

‘What I meant to say is that they can’t afford schooling.’

Auntie Hermione had even talked about that, about how Hogwarts was free for students and how that allowed more children to receive an education. Tom raised his hand to his lips to shush him before he could say anything and annoyance spiked through him for a moment.

‘Are your books free? Or your uniform? Is your wand?’

Albus stared at the ground, he could feel his cheeks heating slowly. The supplies weren’t free, he knew that. Mum had let him buy half of them himself and the Galleons had clinked in his pockets.

‘I thought not.’ He didn’t sound happy about it either. Albus wondered why it made him so unhappy, so angry. But he couldn’t get that question over his lips and out into the air.

‘But my Uncle said his family always managed.’

Ugh, he sounded too much like Lily again, his voice half a whine. Plaintive and begging to be right. Why did he want to be right about this?

Tom rolled his eyes in response and he and Mary shared another look. Tom breathed deeply. Something about it was mesmerising, the way he kept steadying himself. The way he breathed away his anger, kept it tightly under control, instead of simply letting it all out. He could feel the way the surface stilled, but underneath the emotion still moved, something dark and cold in the water, being contained with every intake of breath.

‘I suppose your Uncle had a garden to tend to, didn’t he?’

Tom’s voice was softer now, like all the sharp corners had been shaven off. Albus couldn’t answer. He’d played in that garden, had a battle of who could chuck out the gnomes the furthest with the whole family. Teddy always won, with Dad close by, probably because Dad always let them win.

‘And his father worked for the Ministry, or in Diagon, if he was unlucky. And his mum did what she could to save so her children didn’t need to have second hand clothes, hmm?’

Albus tried to get the lump in his throat out of the way, to answer, to say that it wasn’t fair, but he only watched as a young woman with a baby in her arms greeted Mary and pretended to smile at him.

‘The children here, they don’t just go to school with second hand books and robes, their books have gone through the neighbourhood and by now the covers will be falling off. And the robes are only second hand if they’re lucky and their dad worked some more hours at the factory. Or if they did.’

He tipped his hat to an elderly man sitting on the pavement outside his home, playing with a little girl.

‘Going to Hogwarts doesn’t mean getting an education here, it just means being bullied for your tattered books. And their parents go without food because they can’t make as many hours, with baby not being watched by their siblings, because they’re broadening their horizons in Scotland. They’d rather forget they have to go at all, until they have to get on the train.’

‘Tom,’ Mary said and it held a sort of warning Albus couldn’t catch. ‘We’re almost there darling, no-one will stare at you any longer.’

His feet were hurting again and his head throbbed with every step he set, but she was right. The houses around them were changing little by little. The street was growing narrower and somehow nicer, less grey. People looked less harsh here even though no-one smiled, it seemed they didn’t even recognise him and they didn’t know Tom either, cause no-one was smiling at him either. The houses were still just rows and rows, but now they were all going wobbly sometimes, leaning on their neighbours before straightening out again a few rows on. They weren’t all the same anymore but going the right kind of weird, the sort of strange that just screamed wizard at you. It filled his belly with warmth, because he could feel he was home. Godric’s Hollow was home, of course, but Diagon somehow almost felt the same. He belonged here, fit right in, snugly like a puzzle piece in a jigsaw puzzle.

There was more light here, more street lamps lighting up the path ahead and it was hard to keep pace with Tom and Mary instead of rushing ahead. It didn’t matter he wasn’t entirely sure where to run to. He could almost hear James laughing somewhere in the distance and hear Lily begging for Mum to look at something. Mary squeezed his shoulder lightly and when he looked back she smiled at him. It was worn at the edges, like it cost effort to make her mouth curl, but her eyes still sparkled with mirth.

‘No use getting lost again when you’re so close, is there?’

Tom laughed and the sound rang between the houses. It only made him feel better, like Tom’s feelings were trickling over to him. He felt happy now and there was contentment humming inside him, giving his steps a little bounce. He hadn’t forgotten what Tom said, but the knowledge was tucked away somewhere in his head and the world didn’t seem so wrong anymore. He could take it out and look at it when he wanted and he didn’t want to now. Now he wanted to to run and dance so he did. Streetlamps were excellent to twirl around and it was nice to make Mary laugh. Her laugh bubbled over, every time he did something silly like skipping over the pavement, it came out.

He stopped on the corner of the street, waiting for them to catch up, because she was right. It would be stupid to get lost again now. Mary and Tom had closed the space where he walked before. Now they were walking arm in arm, their shoulders almost touching as they watched him. For once, it wasn’t unpleasant to have their eyes on him. He knew why they were looking, they were looking because Tom would keep his promise. Because they didn’t want him to get lost again either. They wanted him safe. It was a little overwhelming, how nice they were.

‘We need to go left here and then the first alley on your left again should bring us back to Diagon, dear.’

He heard the people before he could even see them, halfway down the alley already and suddenly unable to go any further. There’s so many of them. The sound is like a wave, crashing over him and intent on knocking him over. He hadn’t realised how quiet the other streets were, how few people there were about. There were no shops there, just houses. But here, everyone’s rushing about, or strolling along looking at wares and talking to their friends at the loudest volume, trying to make themselves heard above the din. Before he could back away Mary took hold of his hand.

It made everything a little more bearable. The light dimmed slightly, the flare of the candles and fires less harsh. All the voices melted together into a comforting murmur, instead of the roaring ocean they were before.

‘Take a deep breath, you’re almost there,’ she said and gave his hand a reassuring squeeze.

He filled his lungs with air, let it stream in slowly, like he’d see Tom do and then pushed it all out again. The world turned a little softer and Mary nodded at him when he looked at her. Tom even smiled, almost like he was proud.

‘Go on,’ he said and nudged his shoulder slightly with his hand. It helped to be pushed into moving, because for a moment he felt like his legs wouldn’t work. But then he set one step and another and suddenly it didn’t matter that he was clinging hard to Mary’s hand, almost pulling her and Tom with him into the crowd of people streaming past. People smiled down at him as they went past and he could catch the beginning of the bemused and indulgent looks they gave Mary and Tom. It felt wrong, that these people thought they were his parents. They weren’t, they were just helping him. They were looking for his parents, because he got lost, but the people didn’t know that.

He couldn’t let go of her hand, despite how wrong it felt. The world was one whirl of colours and faces and robes and he didn’t want to get lost. Every time he thought he’d caught sight of Dad or Mum, it was just someone who looked a little like them. Or someone with robes as green as Dad’s eyes and even someone with a hat just like the Weasley hair that mum and Lily had. A proper hat, a wizarding one, with a point to it and just the right amount of flop.

A tendril of fear coiled inside his stomach as he searched, only meeting unfamiliar faces with kind eyes. What if they’d gone already? They wouldn’t have gone back without him, would they? He tried to push the fear away, to remember what Tom had promised, but it didn’t help. What if Tom couldn’t find his parents either?

They were walking hand in hand now and that made the fear let go. Tom was looking ahead and Albus watched his eyes for a while, the way they traveled over the crowd was soothing. Tom wouldn’t miss anyone, not with how intently he was searching. He smiled at him, a quiet and reassuring smile and then glanced at Mary his gaze softening even further. It made his heart skip a beat and the world stopped for just a moment. Albus hoped he would find someone to look at like that.

Someone bumped into him, their arm brushing past his and the jolt pushed him back. The world rushed on past him and he took a shaky breath as he walked, trying to make out Dad between all the people. He couldn’t find him, no matter how hard he tried. Somehow it didn’t make any difference that Dad was famous, he still just melted away into the crowd, blending with all the other wizards.

It felt like they’d been searching for ages and ages already and his feet were starting to sting again. Tiredness was pulling at him, making it hard to keep watching, slowly pulling his eyes closed until he noticed and managed to open them wide again. Everything was going a little fuzzy around the corners, people turning in nothing more but colours and shapes that moved in the corner of his eyes. His hand almost slipped out of Mary’s, but she held on a little tighter.

And then he saw her. Lily, holding onto Mum’s hand, with the kind of expression that said she’d be bursting out into tears any moment now. Albus wanted to burst out into tears himself. There was a lump in his throat that wouldn’t go away no matter how much he swallowed and it was hard to breathe for a moment. Lily! He found them!

He needed to be closer. They couldn’t see him yet. Mum was looking over people’s heads, trying to find him. He was running before he knew, slipping past people and pushing them out of the way with more strength than he really had.

‘Mum!’

She heard him and the relief almost made his knees buckle. He couldn’t stop, he wasn’t there yet. Mum. She saw him and her face lit up with the same relief he was feeling. It was only a few steps and then she was holding onto him, her arms wrapped around him tightly. She smelled like home and her robes were warm and soft.

Lily was clinging to his sleeve, he just heard her start to sniffle and Mum ruffled his hair as she hugged him.

‘Oh Albus,’ she muttered and then he heard Dad calling for Mum behind him. The lump in his throat only got bigger and there were tears starting to sting in his eyes. Dad wrapped his arms around him too, laying his cheek on his head and sighing a sigh Albus could feel through his whole body. There was a spark, a little zip in the air, like static electricity, but Albus didn’t care.

Slowly the hug got too tight, but he couldn’t wiggle out with how close they were holding him. Mum tsked a little and Dad turned him around so he could look in his eyes. Albus tried not to fidget under Dad’s stern stare, his face all scrunched up with concern and relief at the same time.

‘Where were you, Al?’ he asked quietly and Mum stepped a little closer like she was afraid he was going to disappear again. He did his best to talk through the tears and the lump, but his voice came out all wobbly anyway.

‘I…I got- I got lost.’

Dad’s hands were warm and heavy in his shoulder and the shame and guilt was only weighing him down further. He knew he shouldn’t have walked away, but it wasn’t a stupid idea when he did it. He could have just walked back and everything would have been fine. Except it wasn’t.

Dad glared at him and Albus felt his cheeks heat. The tears spilled over even though he didn’t want them to.

‘I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to!’

Mum hugged him from behind and Dad stopped glaring and hugged him too.

‘It’s alright Al, you’re back now. Are you hurt?’ Mum asked gently.

‘I’m not,’ he answered into Dads shoulder, the fabric muddled his voice a little, stopping it from sounding like he was crying. Dad just held on a little tighter.

‘He promised- they- they brought me-’

He tried to find them between all the people, they had to be close, making sure he was back. But they weren’t there. The only thing he saw was floppy hats. There wasn’t even _one_ muggle one in sight.

‘What did you say?’

Dad looked all concerned again and Albus felt glad he hadn’t heard. They’d only worry if they knew. Mary had said that, parents worried. He took a deep breath.

‘I want to go home.’


End file.
